Here’s a stream of consciousness diatribe about things that irrirate me. It’s first come, first served and I’ll give myself 3 minutes. Here goes…
Watching football in the pub at saturday lunchtime, ‘comment’ in newspapers rather than actual ‘news’, gastropubs, the person who’s ‘always late’, fat men who claim to be into rugby, 3D spex, The Daily Mail, 10 o clock live, screaming children in pizza express, gourmet burgers, X Factor, menus that mention ‘hen’s eggs’, the importance attached to individuals such as Ian Tomlinson and Princess Diana, travel agents (in 2011!), Jeremy Kyle, interests determined by social class, the misguided concept of ‘London prices’, too much choice of chocolate bars, too much choice of breakfast cereal, people who say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, stag dos that last too long, hen dos, smoking, meat in vacuum pack, bottled water in restaurants, buying toilet roll, boring teachers, men in shirts from Next, prices at league 2 clubs, cruises, baby photos as profile photos, those ‘invisible’ socks that go inside pumps, people that block my sunshine, late night curry, dry cleaning, someone called ‘Dave Dice’ who is a ‘person I might know’, budget airlines, semi-skimmed from corner shops, no ‘dead pool’ winners so far this year, people who kiss their pets on the lips, people who use Latinised plurals whether they are needed or not, people who think they can do accents, hole in the wall, people who don’t find Harry Hill funny, Hello!, Ok!, pointless exclamation marks, Ross Kemp, phones with a cord, untucked shirts, weddings on the beach, going to UWE and saying you went to Bristol, too many utterances of ‘thank you’ during newsagent transactions, cookery programmes about baking. Done.
And here’s the SOC for things I love (I’ll give myself 3 minutes for this too):
The IPL (starts today), semi-colons. That is all.